In order to honor Joshua, we tell it like is. We tell it like it was. It’s not always popular, but hey Suicide is not fun. I’ve shared about the night Joshua died, the way he died, the friends he had when he died. I’ve been as honest as I can about his life and yet the story that I have not told is how I first heard that he existed and the very first time I heard that I was having a baby.
My high school was in
It was a Christian boarding
school and I was the proverbial bad girl who needed some major GOD and
straightening up. It was located on a manor in a remote are of NH on rolling
hills. I hated it. There were more things you could not do than things you
could. I was rebellious and it was constraining with very real Baptist principals.
Yes they even had a rule that you had to sit or stand a foot away from a boy….No
From time to time I would come home to
to visit my family. I was the
oldest of four sisters and brothers that I had helped raise and I enjoyed
coming home. I also had a boyfriend back home and that is all I will say about
that. One day on a weekend visit in Gloucester
I was at home with my mom complaining about stomach cramps and feeling sick. I
did not think anything of it, as a 16 year old girl. Mom then suggested that I
had to get back to school and I should leave a urine sample home with her. I
thought nothing of it. Gloucester
A few days later I sat in Bible class with Mr. Diff and suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the headmaster. Not a man I ever wanted to tussle with. I turned in shock as he told me to get my belongings and follow him. I walked behind him, trying to make as little noise as possible as he led me through the kitchen, past the dining hall and up the stairs to his office. In his office sat a large desk, several leather chairs and my mother and father. With somber looking faces, it took but a few seconds for my mom to blurt out “you’re pregnant”. Funny I must have been so naïve I never once gave that any thought until that moment. The possibility, the idea never once crossed my mind.
I got married to Joshua’s father at the age of 16 and Joshua came into this world just a few short months later.
Happy Birthday My Sweet Boy!
Mommy Loves You