Tuesday, February 14, 2012

FOR JUST ONE NIGHT






I know it’s hard. I know you’ve been left on the side of the road with your heart bandaged wandering. I know that the thought of loving that deeply again is the worst kind of fear. I know this day brings with it heartache for it’s buried in the deepest places of heart. I know you’ve hid your love away and I know that trusting another soul not to leave you makes you want to run far away and hide. But he is there. He was there before you lost your child and he is there now. He’s been waiting. Just because he wants to love you and see your love does not mean he has not been hurting too. He is in that pain as well. He needs the connection with you so badly in order to trust love as well.

Tonight, when the world is full of hearts. When tables are cluttered with hands held, kisses and glasses of wine. I urge you, my dear angel mom to take a risk on him and on yourself. For just a small moment when he looks at you, look back. Let him see that you see him and not just the pain. Your grief will not go far, it will be right there when you are ready. But on this Valentines night,  he has been waiting for the woman he loves to come back. It’s ok. It’s even ok to feel good about yourself. It’s ok. You might even find that the man sitting across from you so patiently, can help!

When you look back at the times you were crawling on the floor in pain, the days you gouged yourself to feel anything but numb, the nights you slept at the cemetery. Who was at home worried? Who followed you? Who? Who loves you?

Tonight as I have for many nights, I will put on my pretty dress and heals and tell my son that for a few hours I am going to live the way he taught me. Strong, with passion, deeply and I am going to figure out how to trust once again that this love will not leave me like he did.

To my angel moms!!!
Happy Valentines Day <3





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